ann arbor: i miss you.

nothing much to say..... the days are starting to run into each other.

i simultaneously feel like i havent been here long and that ive been here an eternity, but the fact remains that i'll be home in about a month.

i struggle with people's use (including myself) of the word "intentional."

definition: of or pertaining to intention or purpose.
definition of "intention": an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.

ok. so we (interns) have had, at various times i think, discussed being "intentional" with each other, meaning getting to know each other. i have recently began to question the INTENT behind it though.

is it because that's what we're SUPPOSED to do? is it because thats what people say we should do, or Greg recommends? Are these last 4 weeks truely going to be the best? I don't know. Because i think there is a lot of confusion on the INTENT of our intentionality. i think its bull that we extend ourselves to others to get to know them if we arent really interested in knowing them. so i guess the question is, do i really want to know these people, and why.


i think that this whole experience has been different than i expected. its been a lot harder than i thought in the deep community that is promoted aspect. i guess it has been a while since i've had to get to know people, ask questions, seek out who they are at the core, and maybe i'm out of practice. perhaps i havent done that in a while at home because i was content with the community i was a part of. but now i have been put into a different community and it INVOLVES effort. so maybe that was just my own fault initially.

i think that the core of it as i said before is just WHY do you want to get to know people. and if its because you "should" -- then dont. i think thats bullshit. i think there is so much to learn from people in a situation like this, and there is too much comfort in surface relationships and too much fear in going deep. and maybe its not even fear -- maybe its just content. content in the life you lead, the friends you have, etc. and thats fine. but i guess i just keep going back to this Henry Ford quote that some girl wrote in her paper in my PS 327: Community Organizing with Greg Markus, the best professor ever to walk the campus of the unversity of michigan (sorry ralph lovers) -- that if you would have asked someone around 1900 how to get from point A to point B faster, they would have said build a faster carriage. they wouldnt have said "build a model T, duh." it took trying sometohing new and being willing to take a risk.

and maybe thats to broad of a step or to wide of a leap, from Ford to detroit lakes, but, thats ok.because really.... i think it is all about trying new things and taking risks (which i am often, and i'll be the FIRST to admit, scared to take.)

i want to learn from people, i want to have relationships. i'd love to know who my friends will be in 10 years. id love for it to be some of these people. and maybe thats just me, and maybe its nieve.

but i want i want i want, i need i need i need, gimme gimme gimme.